I hold my breath. Count to 10. Silence.
What could possibly be taking so long?
PING. I grab my phone off the table and open the message I’ve anxiously been waiting for. I quickly scan the lines until the end of the green box where it says…
My heart sinks.
Is it really that bad?
Apparently so. I’ve just sent an article to a friend who is my go-to for truthful, transparent, and timely feedback. The essay he’s sent back clearly signals that it isn’t up to scratch.
You know the feeling, right?
Your heart starts thudding. Your…
Four months after graduating from university in my childhood bedroom, I’m now working at one of the world’s leading tech firms…from my new bedroom. I initially approached this graduate role with an unnerving combination of enthusiasm and self-doubt.
Was I worthy of landing this competitive position, or was it all just a fluke?
Would I be able to build genuine relationships with my colleagues in a remote WFH situation?
As a non-technical graduate, would I be able to adopt a completely new skillset and train my brain to work with numbers and data instead of words?
Suddenly I’m three months…
I have a question. What happened the last time you went outside? Did someone cross to the other side of the road as you walked past? Did someone clutch their bag tighter when they caught sight of you? Did you question whether you would return home to your family alive?
No? This is white privilege.
Over the past few days, I fear white privilege has taken on an even more toxic guise across social media: performative allyship.
If we post a black tile on Instagram to conveniently ease white liberal guilt from behind the safety of a keyboard, but forget…
Do I sound too pushy requesting an update on the strategy report I asked for three weeks ago?
Sorry to bother you, person-who-hasn’t-kept-to-deadline, just wondering if…
Did he miss our scheduled call without any prior warning?
Sorry I missed you earlier, person-who-should-actually-be-apologising, let’s reschedule…
Do I have something valuable to contribute in this meeting?
Sorry to interrupt, but…
Let me ask you something. Are you really sorry every time you apologise? Didn’t think so. The ease with which we utter those two syllables disguises the difficulties it engenders for women in the workplace. …
I see you. Your throat closing up as you surrender to once again being treated as ‘lesser’. Your frustration clear from the frown lines etched upon your face. Your remaining dredges of resilience ebbing from your eyes.
I understand. I’ve felt it.
‘Let me just dumb it down for you’.
‘You’re just another f*cking Asian’.
‘Go back to your own country’.
Strangers, colleagues, so-called friends.
These sexist, racist, crushingly aggressive slurs that have been hurled my way throughout my time studying in England, working across three countries and two continents, are something I have come to accept as an inevitable…
Taking it one day at a time